Kat von d dating timeline

Pink You were always pretty, but never pretty pretty. He’d never shown any interest in you before, no matter how much you flirted with him. You worry that your bluff has been called until you realize that, in fact, you are a master hacker.

A couple of guys liked you, but they were never the ones you were into. So you took the pink pill, so that no one would ever be able to not love you again. So you join the NSA and begin an illustrious career hacking into Russian databases, stalling Iranian centrifuges, and causing Chinese military systems to crash at inconvenient times.

Not because people are so bad, but because they’re so good. You must have read hundreds of minds by now, and it’s true. You almost believe it yourself, when you’re deep into a reading.

Everybody thinks of themselves as an honest guy or gal just trying to get by, constantly under assault by circumstances and The System and hundreds and hundreds of assholes. You can very clearly see the structure of evidence they’ve built up to support their narrative, and even though it looks silly to you, you can see why they will never escape it from the inside.

Freud can say whatever he wants against defense mechanisms, but without them, you’re defenseless. It always thinks that it is a good bear, a proper bear, that a bear-hating world has it out for them in particular. Green The first thing you do after taking the green pill is become a sparrow.

You travel to Riyadh, and find that the entire country is a mess. But the King is also an idiot, and refuses to believe you or listen to your recommendations. That’s what’s important and valuable in this twenty-first-century economy, right?A lot of people seem kind of creeped out by a scrawny guy with no muscles going up to every woman he sees and boasting of his BRUTE STRENGTH, but the Internet tells you that is because they are BETA CUCKOLD ORBITERS. Not wanting to end up on an autopsy table in Roswell, you explain that you’re a perfectly ordinary master hacker.Somebody told you once that Internet sites are sometimes inaccurate. How could you figure out which are the inaccurate ones using BRUTE STRENGTH? The government offers you a plea bargain: they’ll drop charges if you help the military with cyber-security.You can see how every insult, every failure, no matter how deserved, is a totally unexpected kick in the gut.When you chose the yellow pill, you had high hopes of becoming a spy, or a gossip columnist, or just the world’s greatest saleswoman.If only there was a way to solve your problem by BEING VERY STRONG. You learn lots of surprising things about gender roles that you didn’t know before. You start to feel a deep sense of kinship with King Midas. You live alone with a bunch of cats who purr when you pet them, then hiss when you pet them again. You are immediately smitten by his BRUTE STRENGTH and ALPHA MALE BEHAVIOR. Your luck finally ends outside a bank in Kansas, when a whole squad of FBI agents ambushes you.

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