It's like a battle within pertaining to something that I had once loved more than anything including myself, my family, my children, career, friends, and altogether my entire life.
So now that I'm not using this drug anymore, why does is still affect me and how did this drug do such a damn good job at covering up or preventing me from experiencing or better yet realizing what was going on.
Methamphetamine is a very powerful drug and is sooooo dangerous because it only takes one time to become addicted.
The reason for this is not a simple one because it has many tricks up it's sleeve.
This addiction is unlike anything imaginable and must be distinguished from the addictions of other drugs.
The way that this addiction can overpower someone, hidden without any warnings or signs while engulfing them with its rapid triumph is indescribable.
It has you believing that you are a much better person than you were before taking it.
Many of my thoughts still seem to contradict each other.
It's now been about four years since I last used but I'm still faced with many opposing feelings that seem to never go away.
And since your body is not functioning properly, neither is your mind and pretty soon, nothing will make you feel good or even semi-normal.
The little things in life like taking your kids to school, mowing the lawn, calling a friend or relative, won't bring you pleasure anymore.
It's actually bit and pieces taken out from a much larger thing that I wrote.