Sex in marriage is something .” Marriage doesn’t cure a desire for porn because even in a sexually vibrant marriage, your wife is not forbidden. The sinful, coveting heart that I had before marriage is the same sinful, coveting heart I have in marriage.So long as I am vulnerable to coveting, I am vulnerable to lust. For me, porn fueled a life-long fantasy to be desirable, irresistible.
For all these reasons, it should seem obvious to us: the pleasure of marital sex cannot quench lust any more than fresh baked bread quenches my desire for cake.If you would have asked me if I was doubting God’s ability to change me, I would have said no.After all, God can change anybody, but only if they “do their part,” right? I needed only to come to God with my empty hands, my weak faith, and my total helplessness and say, “I believe; help my unbelief” (Mark ).I say all of this not to be “down” on our God-given sex drive, but to put it in its proper place: for only when it is in its proper place that I can enjoy it without it enslaving me. And I am free to pray to God without anger in my heart for “making me this way.” I write this today as a married man.Getting married certainly did not cure me of my desire for porn.Porn was my way of cheating the universe that had denied me; it was my tantrum at God.